Purged, purified, refined

"Those who have insight among the people will give understanding to the many; yet they will fall by the sword and by flame, by captivity and by plunder for many days. Now when they fall they will be granted a little help, and many will join with them in hypocrisy. Some of those who have insight will fall, in order to refine, purge, and make them pure until the end time; because it is still to come at the appointed time." Daniel 11.33-35

I am in the process of being purged of sin, purified from its' remains, and refined in Christ. I am a rough playing piece that needs slivers cut from it to fit perfectly into the slot designed for me. My life right now is a process, and I accept that with open arms. I used to believe that I had to be perfect for God to love me. Today I rebuke that lie and I run to Jesus, covered in grime and sobbing. I cannot make myself perfect, no matter how hard I try; and now I know sweet Jesus is smiling and refining me. Every day is a war against the fleshly body I live in, but now I have God on my side.

Peace, be still

"We are apt to imagine that Jesus Christ constrains us, and we obey Him, He will lead us to great success. We must never put our dreams of success as God's purpose for us; His purpose may be exactly the opposite. We have an idea that God is leading us to a particular end, a desired goal; He is not. The question of getting to a particular end is a mere incident. What we call the process, God calls the end.
What is my dream of God's purpose? His purpose is that I depend on Him and on His power now. If I can stay in the middle of the turmoil calm and unperplexed, that is the end of the purpose of God. God is not working towards a particular finish; His end is the process -- that I see Him walking on the waves, no shore in sight, no success, no goal, just the absolute certainty that it is all right because I see Him walking on the sea. It is the process, not the end, which is glorifying to God.
God's training is for now, not presently. His purpose is for this minute, not for something in the future. We have nothing to do with the afterwards of obedience; we get wrong when we think of the afterward. What men call training and preparation, God calls the end." - My Utmost For His Highest, July 28

Way to stab me in the heart, God. As I was falling apart worried over my future and letting myself become overwhelmed with all the things I have to accomplish for my life, You threw this at me and told me "Peace, be still. Watch the garden grow." He has told me what I am intended for in my life; but now He has told me to wait and be still. I want to rush out and find studio space and get started with my life's ministry but now I realize all too suddenly that it's better to sit back and listen to the Gardener before I start planting on my own without His direction.
Okay, Abba, I'm taking this one day at a time. One hour at a time. I have come to realize that this process -- this training You're putting me through -- is my purpose. This is your ministry. Thank you.

I am love, and I have always loved you.

Went to encounters tonight and had an awesome vision I can't shake.

I am an empty, dusty clay cup. Formless and without beauty, I am simply a cup. My brim is cracked and my inside is clogged with dust and dirt that is caked to the bottom. I have a purpose, but I haven't been used for a very long time.
But now -- what's this? A clear pitcher is being lifted and poured over me. I am being filled with cold, fresh water. There's no way it can pry the dirt caked in my insides. But somehow -- miraculously -- it does. The scum quivers and parts, floating to the surface of the water being continuously poured in me. I am being filled. Not only am I being filled, but also filled to the brim. No, wait -- the water is overflowing, pouring out over my edges. The cracks in my brim are in the process of being cleaned and smoothed over. The scum that used to be caked in the bottom is being poured out onto the ground and the water that has filled me is completely clear.
As it pours out of me, though, I see brilliant colors in the water. I focus in on the colors and they are dazzlingly vivid...so much so that it's mesmerizing. I forget that I am watching water and before I know it, the water has transformed into thick paint spilling out of me at a tremendous pace.

My God has replaced the dirt in my life with his colors, his paint, and his calling on my life.