God's done it again.

Excerpt from an "introspection session" I wrote down on May 17, 2010.

"I need to know Jesus Christ more personally. The Holy Spirit, as well. Months ago, I had a very brief dream of standing on a warm, wooden boat. Across from me stood Jesus; he was a worn-looking man. He bent over to pick up a block of wood and a hammer. He then looked up at me, and asked for my help. My dream ended right there. I want to know this man, who needs my help. I want to help him, I really do. But I don’t know a thing about building boats – whatever metaphor that might mean. But he has started a work, and he’s asking for my help in completing it. As I wrote down this last sentence, I’m struck with the idea that maybe he has been working in the Acts arts ministry and he’s asking for my help there. My insecurities about prophetic arts are my insecurities about building a boat – I feel unprepared. Is Jesus asking me to just jump in? I think so. I believe so. Father, prepare me. I think that my journey into the prophetic arts will bring me closer and closer to Jesus. Father, tell me what to do. Holy Spirit, guide my hands as I paint. Guide my thoughts to you constantly. I pray that these sessions of introspection help develop what I paint. Jesus, tell me what to do and where to go. I want to love you, and I want to help you in what you’re doing. I want to be reassured that all of this is real and not something I’m imagining. I’m so scared of waking up in a box of my own making. But you are a God of love; something completely different than any other religious god ever created by man. Even if I do wake up in a box, at least my time spent will not be entirely wasted. May my art do what it is meant to do in your will and your path for my life and for the lives of others around me. Even if it means painting scenes of my own desolation; of my own insecurity, of my own pain, of my own doubts; let all I have glorify you. "

God is good. Seriously. I was struggling hardcore with the new concept of prophesy and whether to trust it or not. But as evidenced by this excerpt, I just jumped in because I was so sick of thinking about every detail. And now look at me. I'm in love with Jesus. I paint every time I worship (with or without canvas and paint). Life has never been more beautiful and I've never felt more relaxed and happy and fulfilled.